WASHINGTON– Immediately after the stunning revelation that FTX was a money laundering scheme using Ukraine to send money back to Democrat politicians, President Joe Biden vowed to deal with the major controversy by sending another $100 billion to Ukraine.
“Listen, Jack, it’s time to address all the recent accusations,” said Biden as money was being deposited into his account. “There’s a lot of rumors going around that Democrats are corrupt criminals sending money to Ukraine to have FTX launder the money back to us. Well, I’m here to tell you that this just isn’t not true.”
A visibly concerned Biden promised the American people that the only way to fix the scandal of laundering money to Ukraine through FTX is to send an additional $100 billion to Ukraine.
“I know this doesn’t make any sense, but it really doesn’t,” admitted Biden, searching for his teleprompter. “The only way we’re going to hurt Russia’s Putin is to get that money into Ukraine and then have it sent back to the Democrat Party so we can keep that money safe. That’ll definitely hurt Putin and also help the transgender community.”
At publishing time, it was reported that the Democrat Party was using a new, honest intermediary called XTF headed by a guy named Fried Bankman-Sam to help with the process.
