WASHINGTON– To try and thwart the very dangerous ghost gun business, the highly qualified agents at the FBI have gone undercover as ghosts and have infiltrated the spirit realm after President Joe Biden issued a ban early this week.
The Biden Administration allocated $420 billion to the Federal Bureau of Investigation to create the much-needed Ghost Division, with offices in every major city in the country and will be hiring millions of illegal immigrants to fill the federal jobs to pose as ghosts.
“Our FBI agents are extremely skilled, highly intelligent, and are now fully trained to act as ghosts,” said Special Agent Ima Shittburd while using his old KKK hood as a ghost disguise. “According to our investigations, most ghost gun dealers are white, anti-vaxxer Trump supporters who refuse to bow down and worship Ukraine President Zelensky.”
FBI agents must go through a vigorous ten week training course to be able to fool other ghosts into thinking they’re one of them, with exercises such as saying the word “boo” while waving their arms around, jumping off of desks to practice levitating, and running into walls until they’re able to go right through them.
“No, we haven’t actually nabbed any real ghosts yet,” said Agent Shittburd when asked if the FBI caught any ghosts using or selling guns. “You’d think we’d do a better job at capturing criminals after all the false flags we’ve set up over the years.”
The FBI said they have plans on staging a January 6 type Insurrection inside a local graveyard in the hopes of arresting a few ghosts who are only in there to rest in peace.
