HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA– To celebrate this year’s Valentine’s Day, late night host Jimmy Kimmel reveals his secret Man Crush Monday love interest to be none other than President Donald Trump, the man whom he talks about incessantly on every single ABC episode.
On today’s show of Jimmy Kimmel Live!, Kimmel pays tribute to Trump with a montage of the millions of times the host expressed his love and devotion to the man he’s been infatuated with ever since he walked down the escalator and announced he was running for president.
“Yes, I admit, I’m very much in love with Donald J. Trump,” said Kimmel as images of Trump flashed on a screen behind him. “I’m not afraid to admit that, as a heterosexual male, I’m totally, deeply, madly infatuated with Trump, which is why I talk about him nonstop on my show.”
Once the trained seals in the audience finished clapping, Kimmel explained that he pokes fun at Trump because he wants to be with Trump, in the same way a teenage boy picks on a girl that he finds attractive.
“Mr. Trump, if you’re listening, just know that I say these horrible things about you every night because I want you,” said Kimmel, once again reassuring his audience that he’s straight. “Does anyone else think it’s weird for a lovesick grown man like me to constantly berate another grown man who doesn’t even know I exist? But I digress.”
After he finished kissing a photo of Trump in a bathrobe, Kimmel finished his hour long segment by telling Melania that she better watch her back because he’s coming to steal her man.
“Don’t worry, Melania, I’m just joking,” said Kimmel with sad puppy dog eyes. “All those posters of Trump hanging up on my bedroom ceiling are all for, uh, research purposes for my shows. Yeah, that’s it. Not because I have the hots for alpha male Trump.”
