INGLEWOOD, CALIFORNIA– Due to the massive decline in ratings of the last few year’s Super Bowl games, this year’s football event was suddenly canceled and replaced with a Donald Trump rally, according to network executives.
With so many people turning off boring American sports and turning on the more exciting game of politics, network executives were scrambling after learning that this year’s game was set to be one of the lowest rated sports shows of all time, coupled with the threat of a trucker convoy blockage in front of the stadium.
“Most people just don’t care about sports anymore for some strange reason,” said NBC executive Levi Shekelstein. “We never would’ve guessed that ramming social justice causes down people’s throats and calling them racist would have turned fans away. Strange.”
Shekelstein said that even though the last minute change to televise the Trump rally was met with some anger from the usual fifty bots on Twitter, he knew he made the right decision when tickets were sold out within ten minutes after the announcement of the Trump rally replacement.
Trump gave a pregame rally interview this week with former Fox News host Tucker Carlson, saying that no one cares about sports anymore because it’s old, boring, and full of rich crybabies.
“This will be the biggest ratings Super Bowl Sunday ever had,” said Trump as a crowd outside chanted “Let’s Go Brandon.” “I have a huge rally planned, one of the hugest ever, with some huge surprises that I don’t want to give away.”
Trump added, “Instead of flying in by plane I’m going to be riding on top of a big rig truck going 80 miles per hour right into the crowd of people. It will be wild. Did I also mention this will be huge?”
