WASHINGTON– It’s the year 2062 and the White House claims that a Russian invasion of Ukraine is extremely close, almost imminent, and may possibly even happen at any second.
For almost fifty years now, American politicians have been sounding the alarm by warning the world that intelligence sources are saying the warmongering country of Russia is definitely on the brink of attacking Ukraine and possibly causing World War 3.
After winning the last eleven presidential elections totally fair and square by declaring himself king thirty-six years ago, 119-year-old skeleton Joe Biden gave an urgent press conference urging any Americans in Ukraine to leave the country right away because Russia is about ready to invade for real this time.
“Look, fat, here’s the deal,” said Biden’s skeleton while listening to his handlers from his earpiece. “This is a serious emergency, bucko. That uh, Russian president guy is only moments away from taking over that country Ukulele that my long dead son Hunter is still somehow getting money from.”
King Biden went on to say that the Russian troops on the Ukraine border are at the precipice of invasion and also wanted everyone to know that he no longer craps his pants because he doesn’t have human organs or a digestive system anymore. In fact, he doesn’t even eat food.
Now 115-year-old President Donald Trump put out a statement from his grave saying that Biden stole the last eleven elections and that at any minute now the Republican party will finally do something about the 2020 presidential election that was stolen forty-two years ago.
