WASHINGTON– Due to General Mark Milley getting ready to retire, Joe Biden was forced to quickly fill the position and decided to appoint Sergeant Maxwell Q. Klinger from the hit TV show M*A*S*H as Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff.
Dressed in a cute pink dress, white high heel shoes, and makeup, Sergeant Klinger stood by Biden and accepted the position and promised to do everything in his power to come up with the most fashionable outfits the military has ever seen.
“So what do you people think of my new dress?” Klinger asked reporters, lifting up the hem of his dress to expose his hairy legs. “President Biden, I humbly accept the honor to proudly serve my country and I just want you to know that I promise I’ll make the United States military the most fashionable armed forces on the planet.”
While sniffing Klinger’s wig, Biden said giddily, “Klinger, if you were any uglier you could be my wife. But seriously, if you ever need help undoing your bra, then I’m definitely the man for the job. Just make sure you wait till my wife, what’s his face, falls asleep.”
As his first order of business, Chairman Klinger ordered new uniforms for all servicemen in every branch of the military, which includes stunning floral print nightgowns, gorgeous three inch stiletto pump sandals, and marvelous makeup kits that will accentuate the masculine features of all the men serving their country.
“Just wait until Russia and China see how stunning and brave we are now,” said Klinger after Biden got down on one knee and proposed to him.
