ATLANTA, GEORGIA– In an effort to combat dangerous medical misinformation being propagated by non-corporate alternative media, CNN interviewed their chief medical correspondent Dr. Evil who said that Joe Rogan has been spreading lies about COVID on The Joe Rogan Experience podcast and needs to be “shushed” at all costs.
During a recent interview with CNN host Jake Tapper, Dr. Evil insisted that Rogan is a “Frickin’ idiot” and that “There’s nothing more pathetic than an aging hipster” telling people to cure their sickness using crazy, nonproven methods, such vitamins, healthy foods, exercise, the sun, and even the so-called “horse deworming” drug Ivermectin.
“Just know that I have a whole bag of ‘shh’ with Joe Rogan’s name on it,” said Dr. Evil from his secret volcano lair. “That makes me angry, and when Dr. Evil gets angry, Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset. And when Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset, people die.”
According to the chief medical expert’s bio on CNN’s website, Dr. Evil has a very qualified background that includes six years in evil medical school and has trained numerous other evil people to follow in his footsteps, including his clone Mini-Me and his number two man Number Two.
“The details of my life are quite inconsequential,” said Dr. Evil after the host asked him about his own strategy to fight COVID. “But enough about me, let’s just do what we always do, hijack some vaccines and hold the world hostage. Yeah? Good.”
When asked how many vaccines would need to be made to take over the world, Dr. Evil placed his pinky finger under his lip and said, “Why make trillions, when we can make…billions?”
