WASHINGTON– Despite all the criticism he’s received for the massive amount of bare shelves in supermarkets across the country, Joe Biden balked at his detractors and claimed that having hardly any food to eat is a good thing and will help obese Americans lose weight.
While giving his second press conference since being installed as president, Biden said that he’s doing people a favor by emptying out grocery stores because most Americans are too fat and need to quit eating.
“Look, fat, here’s the deal,” said Biden callously as he went off script. “America’s full of too many fatties and it’s my duty as prime minster of Canada to make sure everyone stays healthy by not eating any food and just getting injected with vaccines three times a day.”
After a news reporter accused him of fat-shaming millions of people, Biden became enraged and then called the woman a “fat ass liar” before challenging her to a pushup competition where she’ll do the pushups and he’ll just sit there on her back while sniffing her hair.
In an attempt to do the usual coverup for Biden, White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki later clarified the president’s statements, saying, “President Biden never said ‘Bare shelves are a good thing.’ What he actually said was ‘Rare elves wore a G-string.’ And he also didn’t call that reporter a ‘Fat ass liar,’ but said ‘Cat grass brier.’ I know this seems like it doesn’t make sense but it actually doesn’t.”
