WASHINGTON– After a disturbing video went viral showing health officials in China killing pet dogs to stop COVID-19, Dr. Fauci praised the communist country for not only tackling the deadly virus outbreak, but for continuing his diabolical mission of ridding the world of all canines.
Fauci defended China’s dog disinfection tactics last night on CNN, claiming that anyone who disagrees with the massacre of cute little puppies is a science denier who puts the lives of animals first over the bank accounts of him and his Big Pharma colleagues.
“China should be praised for their efforts at eradicating the virus,” said Fauci as he readjusted his dog-skin suit jacket. “We need this same COVID zero policy here in the US, which is why I’m recommending to President Biden that all pet dogs in America need to be euthanized immediately or we’ll never get out of this pandemic.”
While CNN plastered a dubious statistics counter across the screen showing how many people have died from coronavirus-infected dogs, Fauci went on to say that all those pesky animal rights people need to look at the bright side of fatal dog beatings.
“Just think about how many people in China all those dead dogs will now feed,” said Fauci with a smirk. “I don’t particularly like the taste of mutt myself. Personally I prefer feasting on the more succulent flesh of felines.”
On the advice of his chief medical expert, Joe Biden mandated by executive order that, due to virus variants, owning a pet is now considered a federal offense and anyone seen walking a dog or petting a cat will be labeled a domestic terrorist.
Fauci still bragging about killing dogs.