WASHINGTON– History’s most popular U.S. president Joe Biden held a President’s Day rally inside a local cemetery to thank all his most vocal supporters for voting for him in America’s most legitimate election of all time.
Thousands of animated tombstones were in attendance for the special occasion to show their love for the greatest president of all time, proving to the world that Biden has real actual voters and won the election fair and square.
Biden took time out of his busy schedule to drive by the grassroots rally and thank all the graveyard’s citizens for making President’s Day now Biden’s Day.
“While former President Trump is celebrating this holiday with a paltry two thousand breathing MAGA fans,” Biden said as he waved to the crowd of silent headstones, “I’m here to thank all you loyal corpses, cadavers, skeletons, and dead bodies for helping me get into office.”
After taking a quick ten minute nap, Biden had his presidential motorcade drive around the cemetery so he could personally sniff the concrete of every female tombstone as a way to show his gratitude for their legal votes in the 2020 election.
“Rest assured, I promise every one of you dearly departed voters that under my totally legitimate presidency millions more living people will be joining you here very soon,” Biden promised as he signed an executive order to give millions of illegal tombstones amnesty. “Dr. Fauci says once we get all you dead people vaccinated you guys will be able to finally go out in public wearing only nine face masks.”
Most popular president of all time, Jack.