NAYPYITAW, MYANMAR– After getting arrested by Myanmar’s military for alleged election fraud, elected government official Aung San Suu Kyi says she has been falsely accused of vote tampering and that she won fair and square by using the same ingenious Joe Biden strategy of hiding inside her basement during her entire campaign.
Suu Kyi’s National League for Democracy (NLD) party was trailing the political opposition party by a massive amount when all at once 62 million votes were suddenly found at 4 in the morning and all went to the NLD, even though the entire country only has about 54 million citizens.
“This is just a far right, Qanon, Trump-inspired conspiracy theory created by the general of the Myanmar army,” said a NLD spokesperson as his team quickly recalibrated a few voting machines. “Our party used the same effective strategy to win our election that the great and honorable American President Joe Biden used to win his election fairly.
The spokesperson went on to say that Twitter fact-checkers have already disproved the election rigging conspiracy theory and that the opposition party’s fraud accusations are racist, homophobic, xenophobic, transphobic, agoraphobic, arachnophobic, and obesophobic.
In addition to hiding inside of their basements, NLD leaders credit their massive landslide win to using Black Lives Matter members as poll workers, ordering extra ballots from neighboring China in case any official ballots mysteriously got misplaced, and using the same trustworthy voting machines as in the United States presidential election.
