WASHINGTON– President Joe Biden got tired of being asked mundane questions by nosy reporters about whether he used his political position for foreign influence, so he hired climate change activist Greta Thunberg to follow him around and scream at anyone who dares to bring up the Twitter-debunked Soviet-inspired email controversy.
After going two full days without being asked about the controversy, Biden told his wife that he had enough of the Donald Trump smear tactics and hired young, longhaired guru Greta Thunberg to accompany him whenever facing tough questions by journalists, such as “What is your name?”, “How are you doing?”, and “What political position are you running for?”.
Once Biden gave Thunberg a thorough hands-on job interview that involved sniffing her hair, groping her shoulders, and whispering into her ear, the world’s top Swedish environmental expert began her new quest of saving the world from disaster by screaming at anyone who wanted answers to the Hunter Biden New York Post story in the hopes that they would just get annoyed and stop asking.
“How dare you,” a brave Thunberg shouted at a CBS reporter who asked Biden how he was doing. “You are robbing Mr. Biden of his dreams and his childhood! Fear him like I fear him whenever walking in front of him!”
News outlets claim the scandal has undeniably been proven to be fake after Adam Schiff, another Democrat with integrity, showed them the evidence by saying, “This email story comes directly from the Kremlin, case closed.”
Even though Thunberg’s constant shouting was very effective at debunking the email controversy, some intrusive reporters still tried pushing the Democrat-disproven scandal by posting the story to social media, but were thankfully thwarted by Facebook and Twitter’s totally unbiased fact-checking experts.
In an effort to stop the spread of dangerous misinformation about Biden, fact-checkers will now have images and GIFs of Thunberg popup whenever anyone tries to post or tweet links to the story on social media.
