ERUCTATE, IOWA– A county judge recently sentenced an arrogant fat-shamer to a punishment of a high fat, high calorie diet in order to gain a massive amount of weight. Once the fat-shamer becomes obese, he will then be taunted and ridiculed in public by his skinny fat-shaming colleagues.
John Harlequin, 29, was arrested last week after fat-shaming a 400 pound woman while still on parole. Harlequin is a multiple fat-shaming offender and was recently released from prison after serving a two year term for his previous fat-shaming crimes.
The prosecutor on the case, Sherman Klump, says that Judge Kavanaugh made the right decision in forcing the serial fat-shamer to become very portly so that he can also be fat-shamed.
“The fat-shamer has been receiving daily lard injections,” claimed Klump. “He is under twenty-four hour surveillance in an effort to make certain that he just keeps on eating.”
If fat-shamer Harlequin’s stomach gets too full, says Klump, then doctors and medical personnel are on staff to then force-feed more food into Harlequin’s mouth.
“We got that idea from a popular Hollywood movie,” Klump said with powdered lips. “The only time Harlequin gets a break from eating is when the digested food is being gathered in a bucket under his legs so that it can be shoved back into his mouth.”
The judge declared that once Harlequin gains at least 200 pounds, he will be strung up on the ladder of a firetruck and then paraded around town for all to see and laugh at.
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Visitor Rating: 5 Stars