KRAKOW, POLAND– During a visit to Poland’s annual video game convention, Pope Francis told the large crowd of gamers that, not only is playing Warcraft his favorite pastime, but that the video game series is actually based on reality.
After sitting down and indulging in a quick game, Pope Francis explained that the video game is preparing young people for the inevitable battle between good and evil.
“You know it’s go-time once you see a big, dark portal,” the Pope joked as he showed everyone how to properly assemble a competent army. “But seriously, our world is under one giant spell and the more we abstain from these games the stronger the spell becomes.
“Most of our politicians are actually elves, gnomes, and trolls disguised as humans,” he added. “I don’t wanna mention any names, but a current European leader is technically a very powerful orc who’s slowly draining the life out of refugees being sent into her country in order to keep this portal open in an effort to let in the rest of her horde. You probably know that portal by the name CERN.”
The 2016 movie Warcraft, says Pope Francis, was filmed in another world on the other side of the portal. Once the portal fully opens, the final battle will begin.
“Yes, pardon the pun, but all hell will break loose,” he warned with fellow gamers in awe of his abilities. “If we are able to locate and destroy the head demon, who some are calling the anti-human, we can finally close this portal and restore humanity to the world once again.”
Visitor Rating: 5 Stars
Visitor Rating: 5 Stars