DENVER, COLORADO– A German Shepherd married his owner on Sunday in a quickie Vegas wedding after authorities threatened to send the dog back to Germany because of an expired canine visa.
In an interview with Canine Times reporter Toto, 4 year old German citizen Rin Tin Tin was forced to marry his longtime human owner Lisa Martin in an effort to escape deportation back to Germany, a country where he states he was fleeing from persecution.
“I couldn’t go back there,” Rin Tin Tin told the Canine Times reporter in a strong German accent as his new wife held his paw. “I came to this country after suffering persecution for my ethnicity. People never forgave my relatives for what they did in World War 2. I can’t help it that my great-great grandfather was Hitler’s favorite pet. I mean, whatever happened back then between my great-great grandfather and Mr. Hitler wasn’t my fault.”
After searching for his distant relatives on Ancestry.com, Rin Tin Tin made the startling discovery about his relative’s relationship with the infamous head of the Nazi party.
“My great-great grandfather was Hitler’s pride and joy,” said Tin as his black eyes welled up with emotion. “Apparently my relative was the one who introduced Hitler to Eva Braun. Hitler repaid my great-great grandfather by painting numerous pictures of him. You can still see these paintings in museums across the world.”
When asked by the reporter Toto if he truly loved his owner and wife or if it was purely business, Rin Tin Tin looked into his owner’s eyes and gave a her a slobber on the cheek. “Nein, I love my darling Lisa,” he said, wagging his tail with excitement. “Besides, we feel more civilized now knowing that whenever we have sex it’s legal.”
Visitor Rating: 5 Stars