ZURICH, SWITZERLAND– In a study done by the World Political Wildlife organization based in Zurich, Switzerland, honest politicians are becoming increasingly rare and in response, the WPW has placed all honest politicians on their infamous endangered species list.
At an open-doors meeting in Zurich, scientist Hans Sweiderheif gave a riveting speech in front of the world’s top scientists, researchers, zoologists and various other areas of academia about the nearly extinct honest politician, known by its scientific binomial nomenclature: honestus politicus.
“Something must be done before it’s too late,” insisted the gray-haired and bespectacled Sweiderheif from behind a podium. “Studies have shown that the honestus politicus is becoming rarer by the day. The last known sighting of the honestus politicus was on November 22, 1963 in Dallas, Texas over in America. Must we wait until the last of the honestus politcus is wiped from the earth in the same manner as the mighty mammoth and the awe-inspiring saber-toothed tiger?”
Numerous sightings of the honest politician were claimed to have been seen over the years by questionable witnesses and ghost hunters, but each and every case was proven to be that of the all too abundant fabricatus politicus, which resembles the honestus in appearance but with antithetical characteristics, mannerisms and thought patterns.
Although the fate of the honest politician seems grim, Sweiderheif is still optimistic. “Our research at the WPW shows that through a concerted effort among all of you gentlemen and with current advancements in technology, we have the capabilities of creating a lifelike clone of honestus politicus from DNA taken from a chicken egg.”
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