Obese Man Fired For Fat-Shaming

ROANOKE, VIRGINIA– A thirty-four year old obese man from Roanoke was terminated Tuesday from his job at Arby’s restaurant for making crude and uncomfortable fat jokes toward the appearance of another coworker, who just happens to be slender.

The 400 hundred pound, longtime Arby’s line-cook Bill “Joe” Bulger was working alongside thin coworker Albert Manor making scrapple sandwiches for customers when Bulger turned to Manor and started berating him in front of other employees and a roomful of shocked patrons.

“He just started flipping out on me,” the 29 year old skinny waif Manor told Roanoke police after the violent altercation. “He kept calling me lard-ass, heifer, doughboy, and Fat Albert in front of everyone. I was floored. At first, I thought he was talking to the guy working right behind me who’s also a thin man like myself.”

After regaining his composure, Manor finished explaining. “Then he started saying that I shouldn’t be working here because I’m so fat that I’m a liability and that I should remove myself from earth’s life support because my fat lungs need more oxygen than most people.

“This isn’t the first time Bill’s fat-shamed me,” Manor added, lifting up his size small blue sweater and showing Roanoke police his sunken rib-cage. “Bill’s always making little comments under his breath about my weight and leaving french fries at my work station spelled out as the word ‘fat.”

Even though Bill Bulger is currently being held in the back of a white police van because police were unable to move him, Manor wants people to know that he forgives his violent, fat-shaming attacker Bulger.

“I’m not gonna press charges,” said Manor as he pulled up his baggy pants. “Everyone’s telling me I should, ya know, to set an example for these disgusting fat-shamers everywhere, but I still believe in First Amendment rights, even if that means I have to listen to someone scream at me about my weight problem.”

Taking Bulger’s comments to heart, Albert Manor went on a diet to try and lose a few pounds in the hopes that people would stop fat-shaming him.

“I’d like to get down to a more respectable weight,” Manor said with a peaked smile. “If I’m lucky I’ll get down to about 95 pounds. Maybe that’ll keep these bullies off my case.”