Authorities Say Arrested Mall Santa Is Definitely Not Extremely Deceased Jeffrey Epstein
METROPOLITAN, NEW YORK-- A man working as a mall Santa Claus who…
Rashida Tlaib Blames Late Chinese Food Delivery On White Supremacy
DETROIT, MICHIGAN-- Democratic Representative Rashida Tlaib blamed "white supremacy" for Chinese food…
Corn Dog Joins 2020 Democratic Field For President
WASHINGTON-- American food Corn Dog announced on his Twitter account yesterday that…
You’re Fired! Chick-Fil-A No Longer Hiring Christian Chickens
ATLANTA, GEORGIA-- Chick-fil-A made a major announcement this morning on their Twitter…
Angry Vegan Claims Burger King Should Have Meat-Free Bathrooms Away From Carnivores
ATLANTA, FLORIDA-- A perturbed vegan man is suing Burger King after going…
Elizabeth Warren Says She Was Bernie Sanders Long Before Bernie Was Bernie Sanders
MONTPELIER, VERMONT-- Sen. Elizabeth Warren was in typical Sanders but not Sanders…
AOC Backs Out Of Debate With Conan Military Dog After Getting KO’d On Twitter By Hero Canine
WASHINGTON-- Twitter has been ablaze with laughter lately as Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez…
Climate Change Says That It Now Identifies As Environmentally Fluid
EARTH-- Famous celebrity Climate Change recently gave an interview on Entertainment Weekly…
Frantic Democrats Accidentally Get Locked Out Of Their Own Closed-Door Impeachment Hearings
WASHINGTON-- An intense closed-door testimony this morning became even more disjointed after…
Hero Or Villain? Cop Arrests Squirrel For Jaywalking, Resisting Arrest
ANGLE INLET, MINNESOTA-- A small, secluded town's policeman is making the news…
Hunter Under Fire After Accidentally Killing Seagull Thinking It Was Rare Palila Bird
HONOLULU, HAWAII-- A Pennsylvania man who was recently in Hawaii during an…
Democrats Promise Not To Shave Their Beards Until Trump Is Impeached
WASHINGTON-- Determined to serve justice to the American people in regards to…
