Mitch McConnell Announces His Retirement From The Chinese Communist Party
BEIJING, CHINA-- It was a sad day in China after Republican Senator…
Xi Jinping Threatens To Fire Mitch McConnell If He Lets Trump Ban China From Buying US Farmland
BEIJING, CHINA-- After receiving the terrible news that President Donald Trump was…
Media Submits Retraction After Discovering Corpse Found In Congress Was Just Mitch McConnell
WASHINGTON-- News media outlets have apologized after reporting that a dead body…
RFK Jr. Starting To Worry After Congress Announces ‘This Confirmation Hearing Is Brought To You By Pfizer’
WASHINGTON-- RFK Jr. went into his confirmation hearing Monday with a lot…
‘I’m Perfectly Capable Of Doing My Job,’ Blinks Mitch McConnell In Morse Code From An ICU Hospital Bed
WASHINGTON-- After suffering yet another fall, a visibly unwell Senator Mitch McConnell…
Frightened Mitch McConnell Retracts Into Shell After Hearing Threat Of Government Shutdown
WASHINGTON-- After hearing the news that the US government might shut down…
Mitch McConnell Swallows Nervously After Watching Grim Reaper Grab Dianne Feinstein
WASHINGTON-- Senator Dianne Feinstein was taken by the Grim Reaper recently and…
Alex Jones Says Mitch McConnell Didn’t Freeze, But Was Communicating Telepathically With Aliens
AUSTIN, TEXAS-- While the rest of the world believed that Mitch McConnell…
RINO Republicans Volunteer To Take Tulsi Gabbard’s Spot In Democrat Party
WASHINGTON-- After the breaking news that former presidential candidate Tulsi Gabbard had…
Republican Crisis: Mitch McConnell’s Neck Fat Steps Down From His Face
WASHINGTON-- The GOP has announced that Mitch McConnell's neck fat has recently…
