Tag: Mitch McConnell

Xi Jinping Threatens To Fire Mitch McConnell If He Lets Trump Ban China From Buying US Farmland

BEIJING, CHINA-- After receiving the terrible news that President Donald Trump was…

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Media Submits Retraction After Discovering Corpse Found In Congress Was Just Mitch McConnell

WASHINGTON-- News media outlets have apologized after reporting that a dead body…

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RFK Jr. Starting To Worry After Congress Announces ‘This Confirmation Hearing Is Brought To You By Pfizer’

WASHINGTON-- RFK Jr. went into his confirmation hearing Monday with a lot…

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‘I’m Perfectly Capable Of Doing My Job,’ Blinks Mitch McConnell In Morse Code From An ICU Hospital Bed

WASHINGTON-- After suffering yet another fall, a visibly unwell Senator Mitch McConnell…

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Frightened Mitch McConnell Retracts Into Shell After Hearing Threat Of Government Shutdown

WASHINGTON-- After hearing the news that the US government might shut down…

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Mitch McConnell Swallows Nervously After Watching Grim Reaper Grab Dianne Feinstein

WASHINGTON-- Senator Dianne Feinstein was taken by the Grim Reaper recently and…

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Alex Jones Says Mitch McConnell Didn’t Freeze, But Was Communicating Telepathically With Aliens

AUSTIN, TEXAS-- While the rest of the world believed that Mitch McConnell…

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RINO Republicans Volunteer To Take Tulsi Gabbard’s Spot In Democrat Party

WASHINGTON-- After the breaking news that former presidential candidate Tulsi Gabbard had…

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Republican Crisis: Mitch McConnell’s Neck Fat Steps Down From His Face

WASHINGTON-- The GOP has announced that Mitch McConnell's neck fat has recently…

Daily Soak Staff