AOC Says Philadelphia Looters Are Good People Just Stealing Alcohol To Feed Their Families
PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA-- After numerous liquor stores in Philadelphia were looted during a mostly peaceful Democratic protest, New York Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez came to the defense of the shoplifters by claiming…
Biden Says He’ll Stand Up For UAW Workers The Same Way He Stands Up Whenever Walking
DETROIT, MICHIGAN-- While visiting members of the United Auto Workers union on the picket line, President Joe Biden promised the striking workers that he has their backs and will stand…
Canadian Parliament Releases New Hitler One Hundred Dollar Bill To Commemorate Nazis Fight Against Russians
OTTAWA, CANADA-- During a meeting where they praised a WW2 veteran who fought for the Nazis, Canada's House of Commons also proudly unveiled an updated one hundred dollar bill with…
Burger King Unveils New Logo To Better Reflect Their Support Of Censorship
MIAMI, FLORIDA-- The Burger King corporation has recently updated their company logo which they say better represents their core values of censorship and hatred of free speech. After pulling all…
Senators Work Naked After Relaxing Senate Dress Code
WASHINGTON-- In one of the most important issues ever tackled by United States Senators, both Democrats and Republicans voted almost unanimously to relax Senate dress code rules by allowing any…
President Zelensky Appoints Satan As New Ambassador For Ukraine
KIEV, UKRAINE-- After asking spirit-cooking performance artist Marina Abramović to be his new ambassador for Ukraine, President Volodymyr Zelensky retracted his offer and decided to go with someone who was…
Ron DeSantis Proposes 6-Hour Abortion Ban If Elected President
TALLAHASSEE, FLORIDA-- During a campaign stop in California, Republican Presidential candidate Ron DeSantis unveiled some new policies that he plans on implementing if elected in 2024, including a national 6-hour…
Due To Federal Budget Cuts, John Fetterman’s Body Double Will Also Play Biden’s Stand-In
WASHINGTON-- Republicans in Congress have unveiled a plan to massively cut the federal budget in order to avoid another future government shutdown, with one of the many items on the…
Illegal African Migrant Becomes New Prime Minister Of Italy
ROME, ITALY-- An illegal African migrant who recently arrived in Italy by boat was appointed as new prime minister of Italy after the current leader Giorgia Meloni was removed by…
FBI Locates F-35 In Five Minutes After They Receive Tip Jet Was At Capitol On January 6
SUMTER, SOUTH CAROLINA-- The elusive F-35 jet that suddenly went missing today has been quickly found and captured after the FBI received a tip that the jet was seen by…
Democrats Celebrate Constitution Day By Not Following Constitution
WASHINGTON-- Every September 17 Americans recognize Constitution Day in honor of the signing of the US Constitution in 1787, and this year Democrat politicians are celebrating the supreme law of…
Dove Partners With Anheuser-Busch To Promote Limited Edition Bud Light Soap
ST. LOUIS, MISSOURI-- In response to a major boycott from hiring a BLM activist to promote their products, Dove Soap was proud to announce that they are going all in…
