Illegal Alien Squatters Take Over White House While Biden’s On His 6,669th Vacation
WASHINGTON-- A group of illegal aliens have claimed Squatter's Rights after taking over the White House while Joe Biden was away on yet another vacation in Delaware, causing the confused…
New York City Waiting For A Few More Vehicle Accidents Before Thinking About Filling Potholes
NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK-- As roads continue to crumble and car accidents pile up, New York City officials put out a statement saying that they're waiting for a few…
AOC: ‘Trust Me, I Know The Law, I Watched 5 Seasons Of Law & Order’
WASHINGTON-- After receiving a lot of flack over her comment that RICO is not a crime, Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (AOC) D-NY came to her own defense and proved all of…
Biden To Latinos: ‘If You Vote For Trump Over Me Then You Ain’t Black’
PHOENIX, ARIZONA-- During a campaign event in Arizona to stop more minorities from leaving the Democrat plantation, President Joe Biden told a room full of Latinos that if they're for…
Cautious Vampire Worried Next Victim May Be COVID Vaccinated
SUNNYDALE, CALIFORNIA-- Not certain who's safe to bite anymore, a distressed vampire out of California said he's scared of drinking living human being's blood nowadays due to so many people…
Royal Family Announces King Charles Will Return As Soon As He Regenerates New Human Skin Covering
LONDON, ENGLAND-- Yet another mystery has surrounded the Royal Family as head patriarch King Charles has gone missing, but a Royal announcement released today told everyone not to worry because…
Biden Paints White House Brown In Celebration Of St. Patrick’s Day
WASHINGTON-- In celebration of St. Patrick's Day, President Joe Biden has joined in on the holiday festivities by having the White House painted brown as part of his proud Irish…
Snake Plissken Murdered Only Minutes After Entering Current New York City On New Mission
NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK-- Famous antihero S.D. Bob Snake Plissken was killed recently inside of today's current crime-ridden New York City while on yet another dangerous mission, getting murdered…
Canada’s Justin Trudeau Elected New Prime Minister Of Haiti
PORT-AU-PRINCE, HAITI-- Amid the mass amount of riots and chaos happening currently in Haiti, the island's Prime Minister Ariel Henry has resigned from his leadership position and it has already…
Boeing Hires Priests To Read Passengers Their Last Rites Before Boarding Planes
U.S.-- Due to the numerous malfunctions and accidents involving Boeing planes recently, longtime aircraft company Boeing announced they have now hired thousands of priests to stand near the airport gates…
Elon Musk Selling Ad Space On SpaceX Rocket
BOCA CHICA, TEXAS-- In celebration of the successful launch of a rocket test flight into space, Twitter X owner Elon Musk announced that he will now be selling ad space…
White House Claims Biden Told His Ghostwriter Classified Information Only Because He Thought He Was Talking To A Real Ghost
WASHINGTON-- With the House Republican investigation into Joe Biden's mishandling of classified information heating up, White House officials were quick to point out that, yes Biden told his ghostwriter things…
