TEHRAN, IRAN — Residents and satellite images alike reported Saturday that a massive smoke plume rising from U.S. airstrikes in Iran appeared to briefly arrange itself into the unmistakable smiling face of late Arizona Senator John McCain, with the apparition appearing to beam with pride after finally realizing a geopolitical dream he had passionately pursued for decades.
The strikes, ordered by President Donald Trump in coordination with Israel, targeted Iranian military infrastructure in what the White House described as a “decisive act of peace through assertive combustion.” Senator Lindsey Graham (R-SC) reportedly wept tears of joy upon seeing the satellite imagery.
“It was so beautiful,” a deeply emotional Graham told reporters on the Capitol steps as he checked his RTX Raytheon stocks. “This was nothing short of a miracle. To see John smiling down on us, and also to see President Trump, the man who insulted John’s service, bless the Middle East with John’s, and also my, ultimate fantasy.”
Several people on the ground stated that they had also heard the faint singing of McCain’s rendition of the Beach Boys’ song Barbara Ann, but with the lyrics swapped to “Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb Iran.”
President Trump responded to the news of McCain’s laughing image being seen in the smoke clouds over Iran, saying that he doesn’t like clouds that just blow away in the wind. “I like clouds that just stay in place.”
