LONDON, ENGLAND– UK police are being heralded as heroes by the prime minister’s office for arresting a British man who happened to be in the vicinity of London’s gay Pride Parade fully clothed and not naked as required by local authorities.
The UK police department put out a statement in reference to the dangerous British man who put so many homosexuals at risk of harm by having to see a citizen wearing clothes, praising the brave police officers who put their lives on the line by arresting the perverted clothes-wearer.
“Another dangerous, far-right, white supremacist was taken off of the London streets this morning,” wrote the UK police in the official statement. “A Pride Parade should be a safe place that naked gay men can go to commit public acts of perversion and not have to be subjected to a disgusting heterosexual man wearing homophobic clothing.”
UK Prime Minister Keir Starmer commended the officer’s bravery for apprehending the clothed British man who happened to be walking a mile away from where the Pride Parade was taking place.
“Homophobic clothing will have no place in England as long as I’m prime minister,” promised PM Starmer as he stood completely naked behind a podium. “That’s why I will be recommending that the bigoted criminal receive the maximum sentence of 69-years in prison.”
Starmer later updated the “No Clothing At Pride” law to require any person within thirty miles of a gay Pride Parade to have to be completely naked. The prime minister stated the previous law only had a requirement of twenty miles. “It wasn’t enough.”
