WASHINGTON– During a lengthy filibuster speech condemning the United States on Independence Day, Democrat House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries’ hand suddenly burst into flames after mistakenly grabbing a copy of the Constitution rather than the The Communist Manifesto.
While lambasting President Donald Trump’s efforts at removing illegal aliens from receiving free healthcare, Democrat Rep. Jeffries went to pick up Karl Marx’s The Communist Manifesto he had brought with him but accidentally grabbed a copy of the US Constitution that a Republican had left on the podium only moments earlier.
“The United States is racist and everyone’s going to die,” said Jeffries unapologetically as he rambled on for hours. “So-called Republicans in Congress have claimed that we are the land of the free and the home of the brave, going so far as to claim that American citizens have rights. I can prove without a shadow of a doubt right now that this is emphatically false and dangerous.”
As he went to pick up The Communist Manifesto to prove his point, he mistakenly picked up the Constitution and watched in painful fear as his hand ignited on fire, before writhing around the floor of Congress like a demon possessed.
Hakeem later stated that he was undaunted by the experience and would continue to do everything in his power to help continue with the destruction of the United States.
“I still have another hand to do damage with,” he promised his Democrat constituents.
