NEW CASTLE, DELAWARE– Only days after announcing his intentions to possibly get back into politics, former President Joe Biden decided to practice his infamous female groping skills by getting a job for the TSA.
Biden applied for the job at the Transportation Security Administration at the Delaware airport near his home due to the way TSA personnel pat down, fondle, and feel up passengers before they board their flight all in the name of national security.
“That’s right, honey, I said remove all your clothes,” said Biden sternly to a woman at the airport screening. “Don’t worry, I’m a professional, so I don’t get any pleasure out of invading your space. Trust me, Jack, I have many years of experience under my diaper as a politician groping women, I mean, experience securing our nation from young, beautiful girls like you possibly hiding dangerous objects in their coconut-scented hair.”
After waving a few armed terrorists through to board a plane, TSA agent Biden quickly halted a few college women and told them that they looked suspicious and wouldn’t be allowed to board their plane until they passed the sniff test.
At publishing time, Biden was chosen as Employee of the Month due to performing more strip searches on female passengers in one month than every other TSA agent in history combined.
