NORTH POLE– After beloved Santa Claus lost a massive amount of weight quickly and began getting frail from taking too much of the weight-loss drug Ozempic, Santa’s elves started worrying about the health of their boss and decided to hold an intervention in an effort to get Jolly Ole Saint Nick to wean himself off the weight management medication.
Santa Claus said he first started taking Ozempic to lose a few pounds because he was having difficulty squeezing down chimneys last Christmas, but became quickly addicted to its effects and wanted to lose more and more weight.
“Santa, we’re just concerned about how thin you’re getting,” said one of the elves to Santa as they all shook their heads in agreement. “We don’t want to overstep our bounds here because you’re our boss and sign our paychecks, but it’s just that we feel like maybe you’re losing a little too much weight. How are you going to deliver all these presents when you can barely step up into the sleigh by yourself?”
Even though the elves had good intentions, Santa Claus took the intervention and their words as insults and immediately fired every elf only hours before he was set to depart on his worldwide gift-giving tour.
In order to keep up with the high demand of Christmas work after terminating all of his employees, Santa opened up the gift for Hunter Biden and started snorting it.
