U.S.– With less than a month before Joe Biden leaves office, a group of Mexican cartels got together recently to throw a surprise retirement party for the president as a way to thank him for how much he has done to assist them in their criminal activities over the last four years.
After Biden was summoned to an abandoned warehouse under the guise of another payoff for the Big Guy, dozens of gang members suddenly flipped on the lights and then began cheering “Surprise, viejo loco” as soon as the senile commander-in-chief walked through the door.
“Our amigo Joe is a criminal just like us,” said one of the cartel members after Biden tripped over the door’s entrance. “He’s been there for us over these last four years and has done more to help our cause and criminal activity than anyone else, and we thank him for that. We’ll always be grateful for you in helping us ‘build back better’ our criminal enterprise, especially our lucrative drug business and sex trafficking operation.”
Biden thanked his Mexican boss by sniffing his black hair before telling him it was honor to serve, but regretted that he wasn’t able to do more damage to the United States thanks to his fellow Democrats forcing him out of the presidential race and installing a cackling, drunken, fake black floozy.
As a way to memorialize the momentous occasion, Biden had all sixty-nine violent gang members in attendance sign the soiled diaper he was currently wearing.
