NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK– After New York firefighters booed Attorney General Letitia James during a ceremony, FDNY Commissioner Laura Kavanagh promised to punish all the staffers responsible by forcing them to stay in the hellhole known as New York City.
“I want to know right now who did this,” said the female commissioner angrily in a deep baritone voice. “As everyone should already know by now, there are no freedoms here in New York, including booing one of the greatest attorneys general in this state’s history. The only freedom people have here is the freedom of not having any freedom.”
Commissioner Kavanagh ordered her emasculated male FDNY chief to locate all the supposed criminals who drowned out Letitia James by chanting “Trump” repeatedly as the attorney general was trying to say something that no one really cared about or wanted to hear anyway.
“As Mr., I mean, Mrs. Kavanagh said, there are no First Amendment rights here in New York,” said the fire chief with his legs firmly crossed. “After spending billions of taxpayer dollars to locate the hardened criminals who booed Letitia James, we will be making each and every one of them remain here in crime-ridden New York City. I believe the punishment fits the crime. I mean, hey, even I wouldn’t want to live in this dangerous place and I’m the fire chief here.”
The mayor of New York City Eric Adams also reprimanded the firefighters for putting out numerous fires that were started by illegal aliens who were simply expressing themselves regarding their hatred for America and for only getting $10,000 in free money instead of at least double that amount.