LONDON, ENGLAND– With the extradition case of famous whistleblower Julian Assange underway in the UK, numerous internet sleuths were quick to point out that one of the high court judges presiding over the case looked oddly familiar.
“I can’t put my finger on it, but that one female judge with the blonde hair reminds me of someone,” wrote one person on Twitter X with an attached video of the judge sharpening a knife for court. “I can’t quite remember who she is, but for some reason I feel like she’s an evil, nasty witch who’s hurt a lot of people.”
The judges are there to decide whether WikiLeaks founder Assange will be extradited to the United States to face charges of spying, hacking, and taking a very large data dump all over then Secretary of State Hillary Clinton.
Clinton claims Assange data dumped all over her and embarrassed her in front of the world, drawing the ire of the woman with a long list of former acquaintances.
“No one data dumps on Hillary Clinton and gets away with it,” said the mysterious female judge angrily while on the phone with a suicide hotline. “Yeah, is this the suicide hotline? Ok, I’d like to place an order and make it quick. There’s a man with blonde hair that could use a special delivery. Why is it that I always seem to get screwed over by guys with blonde hair?”
After hanging up the phone, the livid judge calmed her nerves by drinking some type of thick, red liquid from out of a medieval goblet while practicing a victory speech for the 2016 US Presidential election.
