SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA– A local teenager was admitted to the emergency room Sunday after having to sit through a two-minute YouTube video, which caused the impatient girl to lose her mind from the video’s extremely long length.
The 17-year-old teen Maddie was watching an already overly drawn-out 40 second Shorts video when she mistakenly clicked a regular video and then let YouTube’s Autoplay feature load the next 120 second video.
“Maddie is being seen by our hospital’s finest physicians,” said head surgeon Dr. Ima Paine grimly from the hospital where the teen was admitted. “Maddie was watching some thirty second YouTube Shorts videos before somehow making it through a whole two minute video without losing her focus. In my professional medical opinion, I can’t even believe one of this generation’s teenagers actually had an attention span over eight seconds.”
According to Dr. Paine, goldfish now have a much longer attention span than the average human and those numbers are even greater the younger the person’s age.
Maddie’s parents told police they would have stopped their daughter from watching the long two minute video had they been able to pay attention to her for longer than one minute.
At publishing time, it was reported that Maddie had passed away after the distracted doctor’s took longer than two minutes to perform surgery on her.
I thought this was satire. 🤭
My attention spans so short I only…..