WASHINGTON– In celebration of this year’s Halloween, President Joe Biden had his confused staff members decorate the White House with Christmas decorations and went on Twitter X to wish everyone a very safe and happy Fourth of July.
“Seasons greetings, everyone, and Happy Kwanzaa,” wrote Biden on a Twitter X post that surprisingly got ratioed. “I’d like to wish every one of the 81 billion people who voted for me over that other guy Ronald Krump a very happy Fourth of July weekend. Don’t forget to bring the kids to the White House because I got a special treat for all the good, little girls.”
Biden’s wife Jill was a little hesitant to put up Christmas decorations on Halloween for her husband, but figured he wouldn’t be around much longer anyway and once he’s gone she can run off with one of his younger, more intelligible body doubles who only pretends to be a demented, corrupt, senile moron.
A few news outlets such as MSNBC praised Biden’s decision to get his holidays mixed up, saying, “President Biden’s ingenuity and creativeness to think outside the box knows no bounds. He proves once again how his mental acuity is leagues ahead of former President Donald Trump.”
At publishing time, sources within the White House said Biden suddenly became enraged after seeing Christmas decorations on Halloween and asked who was the stupid idiot who gave that order. He then told his staff to take everything down and immediately put up Easter ornaments.
