NEW YORK, NEW YORK– Massive flooding has overtaken New York this week hampering the efforts of law enforcement to do their jobs and in response the NYPD has unveiled new Italian-style gondola boats for officers to give chase after dangerous suspects.
New York City Mayor Eric Adams made the announcement of the new NYPD Venetian gondolas while up to his neck in flooded water, promising that police officers will still respond to citizen’s calls but it my take a little longer for them to get there.
“New York City is now Venice, Italy 2.0,” said Mayor Adams proudly as he tried keeping his head above the rising water. “Starting today, our brave officers will be floating around the city on special police gondolas using a rowing oar to get around our new, beautiful, permanent waterworld city.”
The Democrat mayor said he has also updated police officer’s uniforms to go along with the new Venice-inspired city, with all officers now wearing white and black striped shirts and funny looking hats.
“And don’t worry, our officers will still respond to calls for assistance,” said Adams assuredly. “If you’re getting murdered and call 911 our officers will get there in as quick as four hours. So just be patient and don’t keep calling 911 no matter how many times you’re getting shot.”
In an effort to drum up more money to pay for the thousands of illegal aliens now living in NYC, Adams said police officers will also be doubling as gondoliers and charging people only $69.95 to give tours around the gorgeous, flooded, crime-ridden city.
