PHOENIX, ARIZONA– An ankle sock that was manufactured during World War II has been named by Guinness World Records as the world’s oldest sock.
According to Guinness officials, Stretch the sock is 76 years old and lives with his owner 88 year old Martin Masters in the bustling city of Phoenix.
Martin Masters attributes Stretch’s longevity to washing the sock on gentle cycles and only wearing it once a month, due to the fact that Stretch’s partner died 30 years ago after it was torn to shreds by Masters’ pet puppy at the time.
“It was a really heartbreaking moment,” said the decrepit Masters to Guinness officials. “Obviously Stretch was more broken up than I was. Ever since then I’ve had to pair Stretch up with another sock, a black knee-high. You didn’t hear it from me, but I think maybe Stretch ain’t fond of the black knee-high too much.”
The secret to Stretch’s lengthy life, says Masters, is taking Stretch with him on all of his trips around the world.
“Stretch has been to more countries than most people,” he said, holding Stretch in his frail lap. “His favorite activities include running around in the dryer and sometimes hanging up on the clothesline on a warm summer’s day.”
Technically, Stretch isn’t the oldest sock of all time. That record goes to a work sock from Canada that lived to be 87 years old.
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