U.S.– Republican presidential candidate Chris Christie has unveiled a new campaign slogan in an effort to boost his struggling poll numbers, threatening the American people that if they don’t vote for him then he will hug former president Barack Obama again.
Christie drew national attention back in 2012 while he was governor when he lovingly embraced Obama multiple times during the president’s visit to New Jersey after Superstorm Sandy ravaged the state.
“I’m done playing games,” said Christie after his poor performance at the second GOP debate. “I’m known as a real tough guy and that’s why I’m no longer asking the American people for their votes, but I’m promising everyone that if you don’t vote me as president then I’ll go on television and hug Obama even harder than I did many years ago when I made myself look like a pathetic, loser jackass.”
The former governor said he knows how much his hug of Obama pissed people off, especially the Republicans who he’s asking to send him to the White House.
“And trust me, the next time I hug Obama I’m really going to go all in with it,” promised Christie with an arrogant smirk. “I’m going to wrap my big, meaty arms around that slender, taut half black president and bring him in really, really close. I may even grind my burly pelvis up against his just to really piss people off for not voting for me.”
In preparation for his inevitable loss to Donald Trump, Christie said he has been training for the upcoming hugging event by randomly grabbing skinny, black men and begging them to donate to his losing campaign.
