WASHINGTON– Reputable news outlet MSNBC has aired a feel-good story for this Father’s Day, reporting that loving, doting son Hunter Biden has shown his affection for his dad Joe Biden by giving the big guy an extra 2% kickback for the holiday instead of the usual 10%.
“Hunter Biden is the son that every father wishes he had,” said MSNBC host Joe Scarborough while crying at Hunter’s kind gesture. “Risking your life and career to charge dangerous foreign oligarchs extra money just so you can give your dad more cash kickbacks is one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever witnessed.”
MSNBC ran a two hour Father’s Day special discussing how awe-inspiring and admirable the relationship is between Hunter and Joe, and lambasted Donald Trump’s son Don Jr. for being a selfish, bad kid who doesn’t love his dad the way Hunter loves his father.
“I bet if Don Jr. was making deals with criminals he’d probably only give his dad a 2% cut of the bribe money,” said Scarborough in disgust as his cohost Mika nodded her head incessantly. “Let this be a lesson to all you sons out there to be more like Hunter Biden and make deals with corrupt people to give access to your dad’s political influence to show how much you love your father.”
President Biden told reporters that after accepting his son’s generous gift he’ll also be spending time on Father’s Day with some of his other children by showering with them and sniffing their hair.
“Being a dad has it’s perks,” said Biden with a smile as he grabbed his bath towel.