WASHINGTON– After facing major backlash for allegedly lying to millions of Republicans, House Speaker Kevin McCarthy gave a quick press conference to clear the air about all the accusations that he caved and completely lied about his promises, saying that he never actually lied but simply just didn’t tell the truth.
“Let’s get one thing straight, I’m working for the American people,” said McCarthy with his fingers crossed behind his back. “This goes out to all those naysayers who are accusing me of reneging on my promises. Read my lips: I never lied, I just didn’t tell the truth. Big difference.”
McCarthy doubled down on his actions, promising the American people that adding $4 trillion of debt, funding 85,000 IRS agents to go after people, and keeping the border wide open are what’s best for the country.
“I challenge anyone to do a better job than I did negotiating with President Biden,” said McCarthy as his nose continued growing. “I kept my promise to the American people and didn’t lie. Of course I wasn’t telling the truth, but at least I didn’t lie.”
With dictionary in hand, McCarthy proved to everyone that there technically is a difference between not lying and not telling the truth.
The House Speaker added that he also never fabricated, misrepresented, deceived, fibbed, told a tall tale, bamboozled, or hoodwinked which was much more honest than not telling the truth.
