HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA– Late night talk show host Jimmy Kimmel has stunned everyone by promising that he will carry on with his Jimmy Kimmel Live show even though all his Hollywood writers have gone on strike, saying he doesn’t need anyone to make him funny because he’s already a talented comedian and will now write all his own sidesplitting jokes.
After doing over sixty takes to get it exactly right, Kimmel finally got his first line out in his opening monologue and surprised the audience with just how talented, funny, and smart he actually is without a team of people propping him up.
“Hey, uh, yeah, well, uh, ya know, how’s everyone, like doing, or something?” said Kimmel as the show’s applause sign flashed, signaling for everyone to clap. “I, uh, um, yeah, you know, well, I’m really gonna, well, how about that Trump guy? Yeah, uh, he’s like, well, ya know, real Trumpy, or whatever.”
Kimmel professed to the audience that he channeled his inner Senator John Fetterman in an effort to sound as eloquent and humorous as possible. He guaranteed that he doesn’t need dozens of people writing his material and told all the crybaby writers to stay out on strike because he’s much funnier without their woke, liberal humor.
“Yeah, well, um, ha, how about that, ya know, Trump’s really getting scared now, uh, well, uh-huh,” said Kimmel while laughing at his own joke. “Ha, that was sure funny. Ha, I know you all are, uh, really cracking up now. Well, hello, and goodnight everyone.”
After seeing the success of Kimmel writing all his own jokes for his show, other genuinely talented late night hosts like Stephen Colbert and Jimmy Fallon have also decided to start actually coming up with their own material that’s even worse than the garbage their writers came up with.
