NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK– The NHL has become the latest sports league to come out in support of the trans community with an official Twitter tweet that made major headlines this week, and have taken it a step further by requiring every hockey player to give up in-game fighting and replace the barbaric ritual with makeup time.
The controversial tweet stated emphatically that trans women are women and trans men are men and that nonbinary identity is real.
A spokesperson for the NHL told news reporters that the NHL is getting a much-needed makeover and plans on changing all of their antiquated rules and regulations, starting with allowing trans players into the league and also banning the toxic male fighting by replacing it with players doing each other’s makeup and exposing their genitals.
“We want the less than one percent of the country to know that the NHL is trans friendly,” said spokesperson Miss Dixie as he reapplied his red lipstick. “The only way we can progress as a society is by forcing our toxic male players to wear makeup, panties, and high-heels out on the ice.”
Miss Dixie went on to say that fans are encouraged to bring their young children to all the upcoming hockey games so they can be inundated with the necessary sight of grown, hairy men in drag grabbing each other and exposing their genitals inside of the arena.
Other sports leagues have promised to not only follow suit but to one-up the NHL, including the PGA which says that it plans on requiring all male golf players to walk around naked while shoving golf balls up each other’s asses.
