WASHINGTON– The Washington Post has come out in defense of dead people everywhere by claiming that selfish people who remain alive and well are extremely deathphobic, also saying that if you are not dead then you hate alive-challenged persons.
The left-leaning newspaper’s latest article called for anyone who’s still alive to immediately kill themselves as not to offend the dead.
“Seeing people alive and well is truly disgusting,” wrote the article’s author Ari Ola. “So many disrespectful people hate dead persons so much that they try staying alive so that they don’t look like the deceased. Shame on you if you’re still alive.”
The article went on to say that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with someone who has lost all of their living tissue and has become nothing but a skeleton.
“You’re an immoral, racist, transphobic degenerate by living and breathing while others are not,” continued the author. “Deathphobia is rampant in our society and is most prevalent within the White and Asian communities, who tend to live the longest on average because of their hatred for the dead.”
The Washington Post author clarified that she was not hypocritical for being alive herself being that she identifies as a dead person.
