SANTA BARBARA, CALIFORNIA– Prince Harry confided in friends that he’s been growing increasingly weary of his American wife Meghan Markle constantly leaving the toilet seat up inside their $15 million dollar home after using the bathroom, causing a major riff between the two due to the age-old man versus woman toilet seat debate.
Prince Harry explained that leaving the toilet seat up is a rude, disgusting, and misogynist act of toxic masculinity, and is calling on his wife to please start putting it back down after she’s done relieving herself.
“When I sit down on the loo to urinate I expect the seat to be already down,” said Harry as he put his testicles back into his shirt pocket before boss Meghan got home. “I don’t know how many bloody times I’ve asked Meghan to please start showing me even the smallest amount of respect. She may be able to bench press more than I do, but I still wear the beard in this family, at least out in public.
The self-proclaimed male feminist says the last straw was when he fell into the toilet last week and was stuck inside of the bowl for three days, only to be laughed at by Meghan as she took pictures of the funny incident and then posted them onto her social media account.
Meghan’s uploaded photo titled “Ginger Crybaby Gets Stuck In Toilet” has already amassed over 100,000 likes on Facebook.
“I actually broke a fingernail last night scrubbing the urine stains off the side of the bowl,” said Harry as he sobbed uncontrollably into a pair of his silk panties. “No one knows how emasculating it is to spend thousands of dollars a month on manicures just to end up chipping my nail polish.”
