HOLLYWOOD– Famous American movie actors Steven Seagal and Arnold Schwarzenegger have both recently weighed in on the conflict between Russia and Ukraine, with both Hollywood heavyweights picking a different side of the fight and deciding that they will solve the crisis by facing each other in an upcoming movie called Battle For Ukraine.
Seagal, who’s been living on and off in Russia and has voiced his support for Vladimir Putin, commented on Schwarzenegger’s recent video where the Austrian said he could annihilate the entire Russian army in less time than it takes Seagal to dye his goatee.
“Anybody seen Arnold? Anybody know why Arnold did Russia?” Asked Seagal in reference to Schwarzenegger’s pro-Ukraine video. “Tough talk coming from a guy who can’t speak his lines without getting winded. Perhaps we should settle this conflict between Russia and Ukraine by facing each other in a movie. Whomever wins takes Ukraine.”
After Seagal and Schwarzenegger discussed the idea with both Putin and Zelensky, the two presidents agreed to the terms that whichever actor wins at the end of the film gets control of the country.
“Hasta la vista, Seagal,” said Schwarzenegger when asked who would win in a fake fight between him and Seagal. “Consider Ukraine mine. Seagal’s Aikido is no match for the pump. I eat Aikido practitioners for breakfast, and right now I’m very hungry.”
At the time of this writing, the movie Battle For Ukraine has been temporarily postponed due to Hollywood writers being unable to write a fake enough storyline to be able to compete with the already fake storyline currently being propagated by the US government and the mainstream media.
