ORLANDO, FLORIDA– Florida police have arrested 69 individuals, including famous Disney character Tigger the tiger in a six-day undercover drug bust sting operation dubbed Operation Crack Head Characters.
Tigger was one of several children’s characters who was taken into custody this week by authorities for possession, use, and distribution of crack cocaine, with Looney Tunes character Daffy Duck and fellow Disney character Goofy also getting arrested.
“Today we arrested a slew of despicable children’s characters,” said Florida Sheriff Nottingham on the steps of the courthouse. “Not only did we recover over 1000 grams of crack cocaine, but also 900 grams of marijuana, 600 grams of ecstasy, 2000 grams of powder cocaine, 20 guns, and Peter Pan who was being held captive inside a crate of one of the suspects.”
A few concerned coworkers reported Tigger the anthropomorphic tiger when they became suspicious of his erratic behavior, his energetic bouncing around like a lunatic, his large bugged-out eyes, and constantly referring to himself in the third person.
“Tigger’s innocent of all charges, yes he is,” said Tigger about himself as he was being led out of a crack house in handcuffs. “Someone must’ve put all those drugs up Tigger’s nose and in his veins, and it’s probably the same person who made Tigger have intoxicated, drugged out rape sessions with all those crackhead Disney princesses.”
Tigger was later released and cleared of all charges after he told authorities that he was a Democrat who voted for Joe Biden and that he also identified as a nonbinary black lesbian who supports Ukraine and is quadruple vaccinated.
