WASHINGTON– In an effort to justify an attack on Russia, President Joe Biden hired former President George W. Bush to scream “Russia has weapons of mass destruction!” in the same way he did with Iraq and Saddam Hussein back in 2002 to trick people into going to war.
During a prewar press conference addressing the nation, Biden asked Bush to come to the White House news briefing room and answer every reporter’s question about Ukraine by saying Russia has the exact same biological weapons that Saddam Hussein didn’t have.
“Vladimir Putin has weapons of mass destruction,” screamed Bush after a reporter said hello to him. “Biden takes this threat very seriously. What we know right now is that Russia has a large stockpile of biological weapons and also he may not have any biological weapons, I don’t know. I just get paid to stand here and lie to you just like I did twenty years ago.”
To make the theatrical performance much easier, Bush simply replayed his September 2002 speech where he tried to convince the world that invading Iraq and killing hundreds of thousands of people is a good thing and that anyone who doesn’t agree with corrupt wars is a traitor to America.
Once Biden finished laughing, he told the press corps that due to Russia putting everyday American’s lives at risk, he has asked Congress to pass the Patriot Act 2.0.
“Don’t worry, folks, this new Patriot Act is not being created to take away more rights of Americans,” said Biden as Bush continued yelling about WMDs. “This here, uh, act is totally not to further the Great Reset or to introduce new spying techniques on American citizens. You can take that to the bank, bucko, or my name’s not Donald Trump.”
Biden slapped Bush a high-five, tagging in his neocon partner.
“If you’re not for us, then you’re against us,” said Bush, threatening the American people in the same way he did when he served as president.
Bush explained what a real American patriot is by saying, “Anyone who supports our globalist war is patriotic. And anyone who fights to have freedom and rights within the US of A is a terrorist and a traitor. Got it?”
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