WASHINGTON– After almost 500 million jobs were found in the middle of the night and added to the total job count, President Joe Biden did a victory dance while giving a speech this morning and touted his all-new, totally legitimate software for the huge influx of actual created employment, according to the latest Jobs Report.
“America is back to work, and then some, thanks to Bidenomics,” said Biden in reference to having more jobs created than actual American citizens. “There’s never been a time in the history of this here country of India that so many real jobs were created, even beating out those two popular Republican guys Donald Reagan and Ronald Trump.”
While mainstream media reporters stood up from their seats and cheered for Biden’s extraordinarily honest accomplishment, Biden added, “We have put together, I think, the most extensive and inclusive job creation fraud organization in the history of American politics.”
After numerous Republican politicians questioned the legitimacy of Biden’s new job counting software, leftwing media outlets ruled that the numbers are accurate, even though the job counters abruptly stopped counting and then resumed overnight to suddenly dump millions of jobs at around 3 a.m.
Many of the unemployment and jobless numbers were also switched to the total job creation count by the software, but Big Tech assured all the naysayers that this was a normal part of the software and not to ask too many questions or they’ll get a misinformation warning.
Ted Cruz of Texas uploaded a video on YouTube saying that both parties need to have an open discussion about what constitutes a new job, garnering the senator a strike for misinformation.
Many big YouTube stars with less than ten subscribers are now calling on the video sharing platform to remove Cruz from the site for job creation misinformation or they will take down all their videos in protest.
