WASHINGTON– President Joe Biden has finally narrowed down his list of possible black females he intends to nominate to the Supreme Court to replace retiring Justice Breyer, with strong, empowered black woman Hillary Clinton in the lead as his first choice.
“I want the black person whom I intend to nominate to be an extraordinary, genuine African-American woman,” said Biden to confused White House press corps reporters. “And nobody is more of an authentic black woman than my good Democrat friend, Hillary Clinton.”
Justice Breyer’s sudden and totally not suspicious retirement left an immediate opening on the Supreme Court, which Biden made very clear he intended to give to an honest qualified woman of color.
Biden went on to say that Hillary’s proven track record as an actual black female is unparalleled, such as the time she took a hot sauce packet from out of her coat pocket while giving a speech in front of a large crowd of black people.
In a brief, unplanned speech this morning, Hillary thanked Biden for considering her for the position on SCOTUS and reminded Congress that it would be racist to not approve of her nomination.
“I don’t feel no ways tired, I come too far from where I started from,” said Hillary, quoting a revamped version of her 2007 campaign speech while using a fake Southern black accent. “Nobody told me that the road from white woman to fake black SCOTUS pick would be easy. I don’t believe my skin darkening cream brought me this far to leave me.”
