OTTAWA, CANADA– With the Canadian trucker convoy of freedom getting closer and closer toward Ottawa, an extremely nervous Justin Trudeau was left with no other alternative but to channel the spirit of his dead dictator father Fidel Castro for advice on how to deal with the truckers.
After lighting a few candles and channeling the spirit’s energy, Trudeau invoked the soul of Castro and asked him to enter into his body so that he may bravely rule Canada with an iron fist of communism, rather than the usual way he rules by putting on makeup and then playing dress-up with his wife’s clothes.
“Oh, father, I invoke your great communist spirit to enter into my feminine body,” said Trudeau as the horns of truckers off in the distance grew closer. “Make my hands your hands and help me to become at least a little more manly than my wife’s boyfriend.”
Once the apparition of Castro appeared and entered into Trudeau’s body, the prime minster giggled like a schoolgirl and clenched his thighs together while dad tickled his most sensitive areas in an effort to become familiar with the new body.
“Oh, dad, you shouldn’t have,” said Trudeau with a coy smile before lighting up a cigarette. “I haven’t felt this much physical excitement since the time I spent a weekend eating hotdogs at Obama’s house. Who knew spirits were so kinky?”
Once he realized that stopping the truckers was basically a lost cause, Trudeau decided to just spend the rest of the night repeatedly channeling dozens of spirits into his body over and over again.
