WASHINGTON– After one of his family friends pointed out how expensive meat prices have gotten, Joe Biden told his stunned dinner guests that he would do a much better job if he were currently the president of the United States.
“I was appalled after hearing that the current price of ground chuck now costs $95 per pound,” said Biden as one of his handlers kept whispering to him that he’s the president.
While sitting inside the Oval Office blaming the farmers and grocery stores for the high prices, Biden added, “If I were president of America and not that other guy, what’s his name, my first order of business would be to sit inside the Oval Office and blame the farmers and grocery stores for these high prices, and not put the blame on the president, like I’m doing right now.”
When one of his staffers informed him that inflation is also at an all-time high and gas prices have ballooned up to $69 a gallon, Biden grabbed his chest and did his best Fred Sanford heart attack impression from the tv show Sanford and Son.
“Elizabeth, this is the big one,” said Biden to his confused wife Jill, clutching his chest. “I never had pains like this before. You hear that, Elizabeth? I’m coming to join you, honey.”
Once Biden finally realized that he is in fact the most popular president of all time and it’s his responsibility to fix this mess, he went on to say that if Donald Trump had done a better job at securing the 2020 election then he wouldn’t have to be in this stressful predicament and could be relaxing inside the basement of his Delaware home right now.
