WASHINGTON– As tensions continue to escalate between the United States and Russia over Ukraine, Joe Biden issued a severely threatening message to Vladimir Putin on Thursday by telling the Russian president that if he doesn’t tear down the Berlin Wall there will be serious consequences.
“Behind me stands a wall that encircles the free sectors of this city,” said Biden during a zoom call with Putin as he watched Ronald Reagan’s famous 1987 speech. “Mr. Gorbachev, if you seek peace and prosperity for the Soviet Union, then, Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall.”
The tensions between the US and Russia began after Biden started repeatedly calling Putin’s personal smartphone accidentally, thinking he was calling for his nursemaid to come change his diaper.
A random spokesman for Russia’s Samsung Smartphone Division said, “Biden’s unprecedented meddling with President Putin’s phone by constantly dialing him at all times of the day and night is causing a total severance of relations between the two countries that may cause Putin to take drastic action, such as blocking Biden’s number or taking him out of his contacts.”
After bashing her head against the podium a few times out of frustration, White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki reiterated Biden’s demand that Putin liberate the people of Germany by tearing down the Berlin Wall and thus improving relations with Biden and Mikhail Gorbachev’s Communist Soviet Union.
“Yes, President Biden is really, definitely serious about the Berlin Wall, yes he is, and I can’t believe how far my life has sunk,” said Psaki as even leftwing news reporters laughed at both her and Biden.
Sources say immediately after Biden hung up with Putin, he called Germany’s Chancellor Olaf Scholz and demanded that Adolf Hitler surrender before America is forced to enter World War 2.
