WASHINGTON– Joe Biden made political history on Wednesday when he was sworn in as president of the United States, making him the first Chinese person ever elected to the role.
Biden gave a brief speech after placing his hand on a book of Buddhism and swearing in, saying that only a mere 150 years ago his fellow Chinese Americans were forced to work on railroads and now there’s one in the White House.
“Everybody was kung fu fighting, those cats were fast as lightning,” Biden said in singsong as soon as he swore his oath to Communist China. “I just want people to know that this here Chinaman from Scranton will be a president for everyone, whether your eyes are slanted like mine or not.”
In celebration of the monumental achievement, Beijing Biden will be holding a presidential victory rally during the Chinese New Year festival on February 12, along with his Asian American son Hunter and his white American trophy wife Jill.
China’s President Xi Jinping sent best wishes to his cousin Biden on his future endeavors in the Oval Office and looks forward to working with him on finishing the hostile takeover of the United States.
Biden told news reporters that one of his top priorities as president is to redecorate the White House by replacing all American flags with flags of Communist China in honor of his Chinese heritage.
