SEATTLE, WASHINGTON– Hundreds of protesters took to the streets today after news broke out that a white goose violently attacked a black crow and left the bird unable to fly, prompting people to call for an end to systemic discrimination against crows.
The disgusting bird on bird incident happened yesterday when the bigoted white goose used his much larger body to strike the hungry crow who was minding his own business by taking one of the goose’s eggs to eat.
Pro-crow group Crow Lives Matter says the goose used excessive force when he hit the crow for only doing what comes naturally to the non-violent black birds.
As peaceful protesters chanted “No Justice, No Geese” and burned down the park where the radical, far-right goose lived, Democrat lawmakers gave a press conference calling for an end to white goose supremacy and are proposing a bill called The Kill All White Geese Act that would legalize killing white geese.
Rep. Maxine Waters (D-Calif.) says that goose reform is not enough to curb the growing white goose supremacy groups that are popping up inside of parks and ponds across the country.
“That ignorant, stupid goose enjoyed smacking that crow with his wing,” Waters said as she adjusted her wig. “Donald Trump is partly to blame for the actions of this prejudiced white goose.”
Democrats say the white goose has a history of attacking random crows who have invaded his personal space or who have tried borrowing his eggs to eat.
They also claim the white goose is a fervent Donald Trump supporter and had attended his last rally by flying over the stadium where Trump used a secret dog-whistle to tell the far-right goose to attack birds of other colors.
